Day: February 19, 2018

The Devil warned me not to

You ask too many questions
You should just live your life carefree
And not ponder the whys of history
Do not replay what already happened
And second-guess how things could have been different

You are better than a dog
Do not savor the old bone that is a distinct memory
Just throw the marrow away!

Your talents are wasted sifting through the rubbish of your past
Like the old man with a detector looking for precious metals
The few trinkets you may find will not be worth your time
You can’t get rich off of nuggets that are only valuable to you

You can be free of that though
All you have to do
Is let go
Give it all up

Nevermind who you think is reading your words
It’s all in your head
No one is following you
You’re the only one whose eyes have gazed upon all you wrote
There is no future in your past
Give it up
I know you can do it!
Release your death grip on the sentences
And let each word slip through your fingers like grains of sand
To be returned to the earth

Poet, there are no answers to your foolish questions
No truth out there to be found
Your bard’s tale ended a long time ago

Introspection is a foolish notion
That only cowards afraid of living in the real world cling to
It is a stuffed animal a child clutches even though
It is tattered beyond recognition and should be thrown away

Just live your life as it was
Ride your motorcycles
Play your videogames
Sing your songs as you strum your ukulele
Go to work and do a good job
So that you may finally get a good night’s sleep
Run your miles like no one else can
Because in the end that is all that matters

There is no value in alternate timelines or realities concocted by your clever mind
Rhyme and verse are cursed nowadays and have no place
Imagination is useless unless it produces technology
Art for art’s sake is a mistake
No one recalls how to properly read prose and poetry
So don’t bother trying to write and speak it
Even with your fingers crossed what you say
Will sound all tongue-tied to those few capable of listening

You are a dying breed, Poet
You just don’t know it yet
And when you realize that
Finally burning your beloved quill and scroll
I will always be there to tell you
I told you so…

Child’s play

I just want to play with the words
The way children play with blocks
And see what I come up with
To explore feelings and memories
And revisit people and places
Even if no one else cares
That I’ve been there before
Or have written about a feeling
One too many times
How the words are put together
How the sentences and verses are bolted together
That interests me
Designing monuments utilizing rhyme and meter
Fascinates

Between

It is neither here nor there
Neither before nor after
Neither this nor that
It is the place that exists
When you’re leaving home to find another
It is the moment that cannot be captured
No matter how many photos you take
It is like that emotion
Gnawing on your heart
But doesn’t have a name
Yet feels oddly familiar just the same
It is neither fast nor slow
Like light creeping across the universe
Faster than any human invention but still living multiple lifetimes to span galaxies
It is neither hot nor cold
Like atoms barely moving at absolute zero
As if Buddhist monks holding their breaths
Barely detectable
It is neither alive nor dead
A cat in a shoebox that Schrodinger hasn’t opened yet–
Can’t tell unless he peeks inside
But that would spoil the surprise
It is undecided and unresolved in its ambiguity
It frustrates those looking for answers
It emboldens those dodging questions
Yet without it
Would there be a Now?
A Somewhere?
A Something Else?

Whimsical #2

I am but a stone in the garden that is your awareness
I am a forgettable thought in your universe of ideas
I am easily dismissed like sand beneath your feet as you walk through the desert
Or overlooked like a puddle you step in during a rainy day
Without fail I am avoided like an obstacle in your path
Your gaze never breaking away from what lies ahead beyond the horizon
Your stride never slowing as you move from now to then–
Even though I am dressed like a giant turkey
And screeching GOBBLE GOBBLE from the top of my lungs!
For you are the epitome of laser-guided focus
The smartest bomb in the room
No nonsense
Take no prisoners
Play for keeps
You are not distracted by my costumed games
Now all I want is my money back
Because you wouldn’t even laugh at me

Doubting the path I took

When I see couples holding hands
And families celebrating in the stands
All I need is You, Lord
All I need is You

Should I notice parents holding their children tight
And good friends gathering at night
All I need is You, Lord
All I need is You

When the years have passed me by
Without me knowing a newborn’s cries
All I need is You, Lord
All I need is You

After many weekends without company
To the point other people test my sanity
All I need is You, Lord
All I need is You

Lest I crave meaningful companionship
Because I feel anchorless and set adrift
All I need is You, Lord
All I need is You

When the passion has fled my hobbies
That my sturdy desire to learn becomes wobbly
All I need is You, Lord
All I need is You

After dodging the disgrace of unplanned single-dom
And my will-to-reach-out eventually undone
All I need is You, Lord
All I need is You

As I walk the path I thought I knew
Only to be greeted with doubt and self-ridicule
All I need is You, Lord
All I need is You–

But how the world before me
Assails the choices I made
Judges a life lived singularly
Rendering me without hope and afraid
And I feel alone
Like I was meant to be that way

What use is loyalty if the Companion-I-Cannot-See
Is un-imaginary only in old stories told by old men?

Lord, I need You to tell me
That where I’m going will be worth the wait
That I will neither be sorry nor late
Convince me that my path has meaning
Whenever my faith felt like it was leaving
Me behind
To chase after You without me
Carry me above the waves crashing ashore
So my footprints in the sand I can see no more
I, whisked away by the Spirit to somewhere promised
Amid saints and sinners alike, my fears dismissed–

All I need is You, Lord
To remind me that what I see ahead of me
May have never been meant for me
Although I wish it mine to begin with
That what is freely given is without strings
And what I let go of may never come back
That the tune today my heart desires to sing
Tomorrow’s melody it may inevitably lack
Because that was Your Plan all along–

All I need to know is
Was I worth it?
Worth all the times I broke
Promises and hearts whenever I stop or start
With carelessly tossed words and actions?
Worth all the mistakes I made
And all the great deeds that would eventually fade?
Worth all the dreams I lived
And all the dreams slept through but never really kept…?

When I try to be all grown-up
Then realize it will never be enough
All I need is You, Lord
All I need is You

For now I finally know my time came and went
What has it all really meant…?
In the end all I needed, Lord
Was You to need me, too