Doubting the path I took

When I see couples holding hands
And families celebrating in the stands
All I need is You, Lord
All I need is You

Should I notice parents holding their children tight
And good friends gathering at night
All I need is You, Lord
All I need is You

When the years have passed me by
Without me knowing a newborn’s cries
All I need is You, Lord
All I need is You

After many weekends without company
To the point other people test my sanity
All I need is You, Lord
All I need is You

Lest I crave meaningful companionship
Because I feel anchorless and set adrift
All I need is You, Lord
All I need is You

When the passion has fled my hobbies
That my sturdy desire to learn becomes wobbly
All I need is You, Lord
All I need is You

After dodging the disgrace of unplanned single-dom
And my will-to-reach-out eventually undone
All I need is You, Lord
All I need is You

As I walk the path I thought I knew
Only to be greeted with doubt and self-ridicule
All I need is You, Lord
All I need is You–

But how the world before me
Assails the choices I made
Judges a life lived singularly
Rendering me without hope and afraid
And I feel alone
Like I was meant to be that way

What use is loyalty if the Companion-I-Cannot-See
Is un-imaginary only in old stories told by old men?

Lord, I need You to tell me
That where I’m going will be worth the wait
That I will neither be sorry nor late
Convince me that my path has meaning
Whenever my faith felt like it was leaving
Me behind
To chase after You without me
Carry me above the waves crashing ashore
So my footprints in the sand I can see no more
I, whisked away by the Spirit to somewhere promised
Amid saints and sinners alike, my fears dismissed–

All I need is You, Lord
To remind me that what I see ahead of me
May have never been meant for me
Although I wish it mine to begin with
That what is freely given is without strings
And what I let go of may never come back
That the tune today my heart desires to sing
Tomorrow’s melody it may inevitably lack
Because that was Your Plan all along–

All I need to know is
Was I worth it?
Worth all the times I broke
Promises and hearts whenever I stop or start
With carelessly tossed words and actions?
Worth all the mistakes I made
And all the great deeds that would eventually fade?
Worth all the dreams I lived
And all the dreams slept through but never really kept…?

When I try to be all grown-up
Then realize it will never be enough
All I need is You, Lord
All I need is You

For now I finally know my time came and went
What has it all really meant…?
In the end all I needed, Lord
Was You to need me, too