Day: April 3, 2018

Raspy

When I was younger
I was an altar server
And even a lector
But not once did I
Ever sing during Mass
Even though I had
Sung in a boy’s choir
Outside of church

When I was a little older
I decided to one day
Sing during Mass to
Impress a girl
Nothing came of that
So I realized that
Selfishness is only
Punished

Now I am much older
And besides a monthly
Offering for the
Collection basket
The best I can do
Is offer God my voice
And so I sing at every Mass
Not with the choir but
As a parishioner
Who tries his best to
Worship and praise

I can’t hit the high notes
Like when I was a boy soprano
But it’s nice to hear those
Around me try
To sing along

We have some pretty capable
Voices in the part of the church
Where I normally sit and
It actually sounds quite nice

Therapy

I stumbled along the path
Making up things as I went along
I didn’t plan to be here
But tried to make the best of it
Even though I didn’t know then
What exactly the best outcome would be
And sometimes I made a mess of it in the process

I met many people but made fewer friends
Made many mistakes as I met people
Failed to make lasting impressions on many people
Who I hoped to be friends with but never did
To this day I wonder how all the people I ever met
Are doing and hope they are well

I tried to learn something new sometimes
But finding some success most of the time
Learning only one thing at a time
And still I want to learn some more
Even if I may never grasp the ideas the way an expert does

The major goals of my life I have set aside until now
At great risk of not having any time to address somehow–
What it would be like for someone to call me dad?
The family life is a like-to-have
But from here to there
What I’ve walked so far has led to dead ends
I think I have waited too long–
My peers exchange stories of what their kids did
Or how they spent the holiday weekend with their spouses
I cannot even relate one babysitting story
Maybe I never will

And there is one more thing you asked me
How I would spend my last days?
I cling to a daydream–
I am working in an observatory
After running some numbers
I realize I’ve found a couple of new exoplanets
By then I’ll probably be a very old man
And the people I would really want to tell first
My mom and dad
Will most likely have long since passed–
I would therefore name my discoveries after them