Day: April 12, 2018

Plan

Every decision I made
Throughout my life has played
More with my head and got out of hand

I thought my path was right
No matter who I spite
Just as long as I kept my plan

Intact for no one but me
You’re not good enough you see
To know the world the way that I do

I can see in the dark
Straight to the human heart
My attention is meant for a chosen few

I lived like this day in and out
Believing I needed no one without a doubt
But emptiness stalked like a spider high above
Then I too felt the need to be loved

But how to make amends
With would-be friends
I’ve gone this far–any going back for me?

So I stand at the edge
My past actions a wedge
Between where I was and where I want to be

I hear a song in my head
That fills me with dread
Of what the future may hold–

Born to only watch the world
Meaningless stone against the ocean hurled
Despair that with time only grows more bold

Now each sunset depresses
Each sunrise no more blesses
As I think of the days I left behind

These words are my testament
Of what I have left–
A legacy of melancholic words that rhyme

And when I die this is what I’ll leave behind
Lonely thoughts are what you will only find
In this home for those sick in the mind
And flashes enter my head from other times–

I miss my son and his kids
My wife long passed she did
The dog we had is no longer too
My only memories of these unforgotten few–

And all because I thought I had a plan