Month: April 2018

Belief

Sometimes you would
Come along with me
As I went to the
Church and did
My rituals that
Were trademarks of
My faith

I prayed–
You sitting
Quietly as I did so
Then you followed me
As I lit a candle

I wanted so badly
To tell you what
I told God
In the conversation
That prayer is
Supposed to be

But I didn’t

And you
Who always believed–
Just not in churches
Put your arm
Around my shoulder
As we stood there

We watched the
Flame flicker
A little
And when we were
Sure the candle
Would stay lit
We left the church
To see what
Else was out there

Spring cleaning

I rummaged through my contacts one day
And found your profile–
We had connected a long ways ago
And never had a reason to keep in touch

I looked through the status updates
Photos and links you shared
And wondered how many of your
Four hundred contacts did the same thing as me
Maybe they asked the same thing too–
How did I know this person?

It’s funny how this type of networking occurs
We try to connect with people we’ve met
On the slim chance that maybe that connection
Proves to be useful later on
I know I’ve played that game and hoarded
Thousands of connections with people
I’ve never met in person but thought
That someone seven degrees separated from me
May help me find a job or the love of my life

Now I realize it’s just that–
A game

When I tried to recall why I connected with you
I almost did not know–
The best I could remember was that you
Like other people I met
Made an impression on me and while
Circumstances prevented me from getting
To know you in real life
I the hopeful humanitarian felt
Learning about you online may be helpful
In getting to know you offline in the real world
Think of it as doing my homework
So that if I was tested
And should we talk in real life
I could at least try to steer
The conversation to things you’re willing to discuss

But in real life
The opportunity to meaningfully talk to you
Never presented itself
And your profile became part of my just-in-case collection
As I’m sure my profile had become part of a similar collection
Of yours or someone else

As I finished looking at your profile
One of many I decided to look through today
It was time to be practical
And acknowledge we were never friends to begin with
And probably never would be–
Click

Controller

It’s like something out of a science fiction novel

I am telling a fighter pilot where his opponent is
Using carefully coded language
The pilot knows what I see on my radar screen
And adopts tactics to evade and engage–

Or at least that’s what I had intended to do

I am terrible at this
Even though I’ve been in training for over a year
What I see on my radar screen and
What I say on the radio
Are not the same thing
And that is a bad thing
In a battlespace where closure rates are in the vicinity of the sound barrier

This was my last choice when I enlisted
As far as career fields go
I would have rather worked in a silo
And be a keeper of the keys that unleashed nuclear fire on thine enemies
But the air force decided otherwise
And so I wear a flight suit
Stare at radar returns all day
And learn the language of a controller

Too bad I wasn’t able to make a career out it

Stargazer

And I’ll fade away
Like a dying star
Watching your world from afar
Each passing day

I am one of many lights in the sky
You see but care not to know
No matter how brightly my light bestows
A warmth that will eventually die

For you have your own solar system to be a part of
Not that of a distant star longing for you from above
Oh how without condition this system you love
Everything it is to you–that even I can see

How much longer can I shine
For someone like you?
Weeks? Months? A year or two?
Only my heart keeps the time

As the seasons change
Will you one day look up?
Perhaps even generous enough
To broaden your love’s range?

But your love is meant not just for anyone
Maybe someday I’ll catch your eye
But physics of my heart only lie
A distant star’s wishing simply undone

Still you seem to twinkle twinkle like a beacon
Across the dark heavens to me
Not intending to attract anyone like yours truly
I can’t help but be captivated by how you fit in your system

How you fondly share stories from the life you’ve led
How you melt at what your loved ones did
Many years of joy to you family friends I bid
Even if such happiness I do not partake instead

For I am light years away
Your gaze never in my direction
Not out of spite or to be shunned
Earthward is where your heart wants to stay

Employee of the month

The closest I’ve come to
Hearing your voice
Was overhearing it
As you spoke to someone else

The closest I’ve come to
Seeing you
Was a glimpse
As you walked away

The closest I’ve come to
Talking to you
Was exchanged greetings
While passing each other

The closest I’ve come to
Knowing you
Was what others say about you
Or the e-mails you have sent

Was your title well deserved?