Month: September 2025

Bouncing from
This or that person
While in play
Not stopping to
Return a greeting
Until I reach
My destination
Corner pocket

I fear that
You see me
Undesirable
And therefore
Re-giftable

You tell me
At what speed
I need to live my life
If it’s ever to sound
Like true music

I don’t think you care
If I’m struggling
You’d rather have
Someone else ask me
How I’m doing rather than
Ask me yourself

You’re trying too hard
To lighten the mood
Sprinkling f-bombs as you
Sarcastically comment about
Someone who doesn’t get the inside joke

I know I should be
Doing something
But I don’t know what that is–

I am slow to start

But once I get going
And keep going
All I wish for
Is to stop

The words are scripted
No need to adlib
Just say your lines
And you’ll be fine

If I show interest
If I ignore
If I leave too soon
If I never leave
If I use bland words
If I use iambic pentameter
If I laugh at everything you say
If I wince at your foul humor
If I mindlessly scribble
If I draw a map of the universe
If I act like a kid
If I act like an adult
If I try to explain why
If I do not explain anything whatsoever–
I’m damned if I do enough
I’m damned if I do too much
I’m damned if I do nothing at all

I’ve thought about
Imaginary conversations with you
Asking questions
What do you do for a living?
What trinkets do you have
On your desk and why?
What do you do for fun?
What would you rather do with your life?
But as I stand here in your presence
(An error in my time machine
Allowing me to share
This crowded elevator
With all of you)
Still I’m too afraid
To say anything
And sadly
Time has run out–
The doors open
The work crowd steps out
Leaving me by myself
And I watch as all of you
Disappear among other
Groups of people
In the World Trade Center
This morning
September 11 2001
As the elevator door closes
The glitch returns me
Twenty-four years
Back to my future–
May you all
Rest in peace

The only way
I can cleanse myself of you
To bleed my heart dry
Of these feelings
To uproot the zealotry
That festers in my
Every
Waking
Moment
Like overgrown weeds
Is to rip
The smile off your face
Tear your sight from my eyes
Poke out my ear drums
With the winged warrior’s arrows
Bash my skull until
Memory becomes pulp fiction
Rub reality’s coarse sand across my skin
Until I recoil in pain
From a feather’s touch
Chant your name
Over and over and over
Until my teeth shatter
Until my throat runs dry
Until my tongue falls out–

When I no longer recognize myself
Is when I am finally over you